Admit Your Emotions - Anger

Dear God,

These are my feelings about Stephanie.

I feel betrayed, used, taken advantage of, deceived, mislead, swindled, fooled, robbed, defrauded, lead astray, made a sucker, taken for a ride, ensnared, lured, baited, defrauded, sucked in, conned, cheated, lied to, lied about, yanked, jerked, thrown away, trashed, ganged up on, turned against, she tried to turn my family against me but they didn't budge, false friendship, deceitful love,

I feel she was ungrateful because she did not say thank you for the use of my vehicle for 6+ months when I paid for 95% of the expenses.

I feel betrayed because I apologized for ending the friendship and thought we were starting over (So, Sheryl's not in town right now).

I feel used for meals and other things I provided. She didn't thank me.

I feel taken advantage, deceived, mislead, swindled, fooled, robbed, defrauded, lead astray, made a sucker, taken for a ride, ensnared, lured, baited, defrauded, sucked in, conned, cheated, for the above.

I feel lied to because she said we were friends again yet said I ended it (which I did have to later after she had to fully walk away)

I feel lied about because she said she called the police about arresting me for endangering people when I drove. The police had no record of any such call.

I feel yanked, jerked, thrown away, trashed, ganged up on, and turned against by her "all knowing therapists and friends" who know nothing about me except what she tells them or chooses to show them in an email which can be easily edited.

She tried to turn my family against me but they didn't budge. My family is tight and they will always stick up for me.

She gave a false friendship.

She practices deceitful love, one I will never expose myself or my family to again.

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I'm grieving for myself because I ignored all the warning signs when I was sick, wanting to believe the best in her when she was taking care of me but the best wasn't really there. Please forgive me God. I want to learn and grow from this experience. I need your grace, your forgiveness, your eyes and your light to shine upon thee. It's at your throne of mercy I bow down and ask for these things.

Thank you for Jo, Laurie, Bonnie, Anne, Annie, Donald, Aunt Mimi, Debra, Marsha, Nancy, Soni, Debbie, Pam, Mom, Tina and Tracy and my Al-Anon group - godly women who know me and have prayed for me throughout this entire process and in years past. Women who know my integrity, my character and even if they don't understand all of what's going on, still send me a note from time to time. These women I love with Christ's love. I ask you to bless, protect, encourage and grow them in their spiritual gifts and in their personal walks with you. Help me to remember these are my friends and I can reach out to them. I'm not alone though at times I feel lonely. Help me to send emails and direct me to whom they should go.

And Lord? Please heal Stephanie's hurts, heal her destructive habits, and help she and her therapist identify her hangups so she can have a life that is no longer bondage of self but filled with freedom in you. I do still love her because of you so keep her close to you, okay?

Love Amy