Crying Is Good for the Soul

Just spent two hours with my therapist. Good thing I asked for an extended time slot! Most of you know I've been working through stuff that's kept me trapped inside 99 extra pounds of protection. By now some of you know 40 pounds of that protection is gone. I said to Jeff, "I feel as though I'm disappearing."

Isn't that what healing and going through the pain of change is all about? It's not about isolating or running away from the things that hurt us in the past or things we let control our present. It's about letting go of damaging survival tools that are not, as Shrek said, "The sharpest tools in the shed."

Crying. All my life I've wanted to cry and cry and cry and cry. Grief and loss and pain and all the crap I've been stuffing down my throat instead of puking into God's toilet. My dear friend Jo who has known me for years prayed that I would begin crying. I'm so glad she had the insight and guts to identify what I needed and tell me in person. She was right. She was so right.

Crying is good for the soul. It releases so much. I still feel like crying just as much as I did when I was talking to Jeff. Two hours won't take care of a lifetime, especially with the one year anniversary of Cathy and my Dad's deaths this month. But it's a start. A good start.

And like Paul, I keep my eyes focused on the prize. I race toward the finish line and in my mind's eye, I see myself breaking the tape and being set free. When that day comes (and it will be soon), you better believe I'm sharing that celebration with Carol, the one God chose over two years ago as my trainer, coach, cheerleader and Kleenex sharer!