The Chisel

"Though my body be weakened, my soul's calling does not die."

An original thought as I watched the trailer to the movie Amazing Grace.

It's not often that in watching another person go through so much internal pain that I am inspired in my own pain to make sure I am not pushing God away. I had a picture flash through my mind before that quote put itself together.

It's the inside of a prison from days of old. I am inside those prison walls. Dark cold cement, iron bars, free to move about but a prisoner. A prisoner of what? Of things inside that need to be chiseled away so the bars that hold me captive can be removed. Then what? One would think climbing out for freedom's sake would be the next obvious move. So why then do I choose to stay?

The cement is impenetrable. It's cold to the touch - a cold that grows comfortable over time. The prison cell itself protects others from coming in - unless they have a key. Why did I chisel the bars away? Perhaps it's because I want to see what happens next. There's fear inside that begins to well up but my prison cell has trusted visitors so I am safe. The bars themselves are good weapons if I am ever in danger but those who hurt me have passed away.

The prison I kept myself in for so many years is melting away. It's shifting and if I shift with it surely I will know freedom where I have only known pain. A different kind of pain.

I'll keep the chisel active. Though at times I may need to stop. But I know in my heart the pain of looking in the mirror at a fat person is far greater than the fear of looking in the mirror at a thinner person. For with the melting of outward protection comes something nobody can ever take away: Perfect Peace in the woman God formed me to be, shapes and all.

God has work for me to do. And I intend to do it. But my biggest prayer is that His eyes will shine through mine...

Amy Grant - My Father's Eyes