Through the help of a friend I was able to attend one of our weekend services at church. It had been so long since I'd been able to get to one that I was excited to be well enough to go and be in a crowd of thousands. It's no coincidence my friend sits in the absolute very front row where the pastor is directly in front of you.This weekend was B.Y.O.B. (Bring Your Own Bible). He asked all of us to hold up our Bibles. He told us that reading 10 minutes a day will help me. It's the primary way God talks to me beside through the Holy Spirit. I've heard that often but something clicked when I heard it again.
Pastor Bill taught from Acts 9:1-19 (Saul's Conversion). He taught us how to take little morsels of God's word, identify key words of how God was speaking to His people then offered notes he would write down in his journal. It was great! Our homework for the week was to re-read the passage with our own journal and see how God speaks to us.
The TouchPoint Bible (the Bible I received from Judson College), is written for people who struggle with emotional issues. At the top of the page where Saul's conversion begins was a gray box called PRIDE. It caught my eye. It referenced a previous passage of scripture which is where I spent my time. Here's what it says:
"Phillip ran over and heard the man reading from the prophet Isaiah; so he asked, "Do you understand what you are reading?" The man replied, "How can I, when there is no one to instruct me?" And he begged Phillip to come up into the carriage and sit with him." (Acts 8:30-31)
The PRIDE box challenged me about asking for help. The Ethiopian man asked for help from Phillip. Do I ask for help when I need it or do I say to myself, "I can do it myself?" Through this disability I've been learning more and more about how to ask for help. First, I have to admit I need help. If I'm not humble enough to know I have a need than there's no way God can help me.
When I accepted Jesus into my heart, I knew I needed help. I knew the debt I owed in sin could not be satisfied by anything I did, said or had. I humbled myself, broken all over the bed crying my eyes out and on my knees asking Jesus to please forgive me and be my Savior. Now I ask Him to lead me by His Spirit as daily decisions get made or as I have to wait and wait and wait and wait.
I'll never be who I was before the disability. I like to think I'm becoming a better human being internally but externally I am very limited as to what I can and cannot do. Jesus knows this. Friends and people may not understand but it's not their name I call upon in times of trouble. It's Jesus.
What other Name is there?
