It was the hope of myself, family and support people that this time away from home would be refreshing. A break from the problems at home. Here's what I learned. I am constantly being thrown into the ocean with a life preserver on. I sink down under the water then shoot back up where my head stays above the water waiting to be rescued. I know I'm going to be rescued. I don't know when. I know by whom - God. I don't know where or how it's going to take place. I wait on the only One who knows. And I make sure the life preserver is secured around my body.Does one call it more bad news when unemployment says they support your story about being wrongfully terminated but can't grant benefits because you can't work? Does God secretly use information meant for harm with unemployment as good news for SSDI? Furthermore, does God have a bigger plan that He has yet to reveal as this process continues? According to the first couple chapters of Daniel, yes.
I wait upon the Lord. I call out to Him in my distress. He hears my cries, knows my humble ways and doesn't want me to give into self-destruction by cutting, overeating, starving or feeding suicidal thoughts. Yes, the anxiety, panic, PTSD and depression are on high alert. Yes, my body continues to fight off unexplained physical pain. Yes, I am tired and I'm weary. But like Isaiah says, "Even youths grow tired and weary."
I'm no spring chicken but this I know. God is always watching over me.
