Cease Fire

Dear God,

I remember Monday nights when my Dad would be home watching a show called M*A*S*H. It was a series based on actual events from the Korean war told by doctors and nurses who'd lived through those horrifying conditions. They survived being separated from their families, having to find a family amongst strangers.

In many ways I feel the same way. Homeless in a foreign land. Here to heal my trust and mistrust issues from a broken childhood. Trying to let others help fix the woundedness of my early developmental years by letting them walk beside me - not carry me through it. Only you can carry me.

I think about the past week. How Satan ravaged war against my mental illness, fears, trust and a close relationship. I realized yesterday late afternoon that it was spiritual warfare. I read Eph 6:10 and put on your armor. I called upon you for a cease fire. To kick Satan's ass just like Rambo shows no mercy on his enemies. Somehow the picture of your heel smashing his head into the ground wasn't violent enough. I needed you equipped with a kick butt knife, an M-16 and pent up rage against the king of violators being let out with all the wrath you could muster. As predicted, you won.

For now, all shooting has stopped. It is silent. Satan has his demons but your angels are all around me. Protecting my mind, my sanity and my health. May your peace which surpasses all understanding continue flowing over me as I put on your armor so I can do what you want me to do.

Lord, I struggle with trust. I'm in your hands and your hands alone. Please teach me how to trust others and let them into those secret hiding places. I want to learn how to trust, Lord. I really do. Especially Jill whom you've chosen for this time in my life.

Love Amy