So there it is in black and white.
My heaviest weight in October 2008.
My lightest weight in 1992.
Fluctuating in between for 16 years.
Too heavy. Too light. A 99 pound difference.
Now meeting with a dietitian who has asked me to trust her to keep my weight a secret until I reach my goal weight or have lost enough that I am encouraged to push forward to the finish line. Goal is to lose 1-2 pounds a week. See you same time next year!
I'm losing stamina, had some motivation at the beginning of the program until seizures became more frequent. Now medical and mental have become more difficult to bear. Just want to sleep. Sleep all day and all night. Watch movies. No therapy, no talking, no visitors. See family, my friend Pam, no conflict, no crap from former employer, no more worries.
Wishful thinking. So I make notes in the food log. Deal with depression by sleeping. Acknowledge no appetite. Try to eat something to keep metabolism moving. I don't think skipping breakfast then having a candy bar for lunch is what Dr. Sarah has in mind so I guess protein and other stuff is what I have to find. Maybe this is a slim fast day.
I'm in a cocoon. Wrapped up in my sleeping bag. Nice and tight. Warm and cozy. A seizure would be great to have right now....slip away for a time.
